Tonight I missed my phone call to Mistres Melissa. I was late getting to the phone. My day has been very hectic and I did not get stopped working until about 8:30 or so. I hope she can understand.

She wanted me to talk about what I wanted our first meeting to be like. I haven't really thought about that too much, but I think I would like sometime alone together. Perhaps a dinner out, a quite place in our own little part of the world where we can site face to face and read each other and to really get to know each other better. There is so much you can learn about someone by talking with them and looking into their eyes for the answer. That's what I think I would like the most.

Also, its been a while since I was out of this cage. I'm in desperate need of a good shave. I would really love it if she would shave me as well (after we've had the chance to be together). Unless of course she wants me to groe my hair back out.

I would love knowing that my body was prepared by her exactly the way she wants me to look, for her pleasure. I want this to work out so well. I want to learn to be all that would please her and that I could then be rewarded with her joy.

Perhaps I'm asking too much too fast.

I hope not.

I get to speak to Mistress Melissa tonight. What a wonderful treat to hear her voice.

As a side note - I wish I was not so introverted. I felt like a stammering fool.

Goodnight Mistress

Today I was told that this will be my first chance to hear the voice of my owner Mistress Melissa. I'm actually excited to be able to put a voice with the photos I have.

How odd this feels to actually have an owner and not ever having heard her voice.

Still no word from Beth yet. I guess she's serious about having me only communicate with Mistress Melissa.

Today Mistress Melissa sent me on an errand. She told me to buy her either a black thong or black thigh high stickings (my choice). Well, being in the Keys, shopping for things like that is not as easy as you might imagine. I had to go to two different stores to get what I thought would be appropriate. And the stores were 50 miles apart from each other.

I wound up buying three "articles". I call them that because she reads the blog and I want to surprise her with what I got for her.

I hope she likes them. I'm sure I'll fantasize tonight about seeing her in them.

Mistress Melissa has asked me to post my chore for today. She wants me to tell her my fantasy. I suppose this also means I'll be telling to world my fantasy as well.

Since starting this path of submission I have wanted only one thing. That is to be totally used by someone for their pleasure. I've talked with Mistress Beth about this at some length and I've always detected some reluctance on her part. I think that's why she has me talking now to Mistress Melissa.

I want to experience the deepest, darkest, most perverted areas of my Mistresses mind. I want to be able to feel her using my body and mind and I want to be able to see the joy in her face while she does just that.

I would be open for anything to happen. She could stretch and train my ass so that it would accept her fist. She could give me enemas repeatedly until I was empty from exhaustion. She could choose to cuckhold me for her service. She could use me as her toilet and have me clean her afterwards with my tongue. She could humiliate me, toture me, empty me and take any and every part of me. To watch as she exerted her power over me and made me small under her.

Just so long as I could see the joy in her face. So long as I could watch knowing that she was turned on by this process. That I was also arrousing her into the same peak that I was experienceing. She would get her orgasm from taking and I would get my from giving. No other reciprocity. Just me giving everything and her taking that and wanting more.

I want to know that I have completely let myself go, nothing held back, and that was not just some scence being played out but a genuine soul connection in the process.

Right now, wearing a chastity device I feel the ownership, but I still am missing that connection of knowing that any and every part of me exists only for someone else's joy.

I've explained to Beth that I'm not looking for a mutual connection. I want to feel the constancy of that ownership and the complete abandon in the knowledge that I physically, mentally, and spiritually exists soley for another's pleasure and joy.

I want to see the evil grins and she plots her next move. I want the fear of not knowing where or why.

Beth and I have a long time together and she sees our relationship as more of a mutual journey. While there is something very comfortable and safe in that process. Something that I would never leave in a million years. I've wanted us to grow into this relationship. But she feels that is somehow less for me and too onesided for her. That remains our stumbling block.

So she has found you to take over and move this forward. I think sometimes out of frustration, but I think also because she loves me enough to want me to have what I'm searching for. What she's too afraid to move forward into.

So what's my fantasy, To know I've finally given everything, all the dark taboos, all the reservations, all the dark closets, all the places that are somehow private and never mentioned, and to know that who I gave those to would cherish them, and honor them, and enjoy them and use them for their pleasure.